Email from Mom: Sunday, March 26, 2023

From: Mom
To: Christian.garcia@missionary.org
Date: Sunday, March 26, 2023
Subject: So long last week!

Hey!

How are you? How is your Sunday playing out? Did you have a good turnout at church today? What does the ward look like there in Cotonou? Do you have a full ward? With you being this close to the mission home, does President Proudfoot attend the ward you attend?

This week here was good. Some days busier than others but it was good. I went down on Sunday to do church with Grandma. I thought she was nuts to want to go the next day after Cowboy passed away but she said "the first time has to happen at sometime so why not today?" I guess she had a good point. Church was good for her. She had a lot of neighbors around and they all hugged her. She has made a lot of great friends and you can tell they love her and Gary too. I was sure grateful for them and it makes me happy they are in Payson.

I took B back to the dermatologist on Tuesday. Her face looked so great after her accutane but it started breaking out bad again, like worse than before, and she has been super frustrated. Which I totally get. Anyways, I called back in November to get her an appointment and this was the soonest I was able to get her in. Good and bad news. Good news is there are options. Bad news, the options are another round of accutane. Well, to get rid of the quickest is accutane. She could take another medicine or two but they aren't as good as accutane and they aren't near as effective or as quick. I just hope that if we do 6 more months it will wipe out the heavy breakouts she is getting now and that we won't have to go back again you know? Brooklyn is a little frustrated with it but she is more anxious than not to get the acne under control and gone so she agreed to give it a go again. We have the typical 30 day window to get her back into the system and then she will start that again the end of April. I just hate that it will be super sensitive skin in the sun but it will also be good for her as a reminder to use sunscreen. The older I get the more I am a fan of making sure it gets applied.

Tyler and I went down to my Mom's on Monday to talk to her about her plans for like the trailers and Cowboys Jeep, etc. She says she knows that she needs to sell them and that she needs to put the money back into her bank account. I don't know honestly how she is going to afford any of life but I can just keep her in prayers I guess. I honestly think that for social, sanity, and financial reasons she should go get a part time job somewhere but I will never suggest or bring that up. We offered to help her sell those things if and when she is ready. I am sure we will be the last ones she reaches out to because Mary and DeAynne have their noses in all the things. Scares me some but I will just let them all work it out how they want I guess.

I worked with Robyn a lot this week because there is so much of a game with my siblings that I just didn't want any part of that. So much so in fact that Mary kept pushing and I finally let it all go. I texted her back and let her know how frustrating it has been over the last years to watch as her and others deliberately do things without including our home. I told her how hurtful her actions have been and how I will no longer pretend that there is a friendship or a relationship there. As you can imagine, that blew up and she comes back with 'I had no idea we weren't good, blah blah blah'. It felt really good to get it out and at least now she knows where I stand with her and where I won't pretend anymore too. Yesterday was a day with not one word spoken between us and it was just fine. The hard part was that Annika decided last minute apparently to put together a cousin game night, that of course B and Kaitlyn finally got an invite too. :/ The girls didn't go but Brent and Xe had their kids go, DeAynne and Kevan of course with their kids, and Mary and Owen. Well, it was clear at the viewing yesterday that they all talked and are very aware of the text I sent because they all treated me like I was nonexistent or the devil. I think I spoke maybe 10 words to DeAynne, not one to Kevan, nothing to Xe, and Brent maybe 10 words too. None of their kids said a word to me and they all treated the girls and Eric the same horrible way too. What I have learned in all of this is that drama and strife doesn't have to exist and I get to choose who and what I allow into my life. So, after we got home and even into this morning, I have gone in and blocked all of them on any sort of social media, I have removed them from being able to be a part of any part of the good and fun that we have going on in life here because if they are going to treat us that way, they sure don't deserve to know what it is we have going on in life. And I am so good with that.

Grandma had a ton of people come in support of her and Cowboy yesterday. The line kept moving for a solid 2 hours. It was so good to see some of the old people from the old ward in West Valley. Plus it was good to see that she will have support still now that Gary is gone. You will never guess who did show up though! My real Dad. Yep...totally wrong and inappropriate but he did it anyways. And of course the rest of my siblings coddled him and made him feel like a million bucks. Entirely the wrong time and place for him to be and for them to be doing that but what do you do? I stayed in the Relief Society room while they played catering to him. He came in and I stood to hug him. He was all sorts of tears and asked me what he had done to me. I told him nothing and that life changes. I have my own kids who are growing up and doing great things. Told him we are busy making memories and creating our own family and traditions. He hugged me again and said 'well, I love you". I told him I loved him too and he walked out the door. But then get this...on our way home I get a text from him that says 'It was good to see you but I hope your kids hate you the same way you hate me". WTH?!? Who says that kind of stuff? If anything, yet one more example as to why I don't have him in my world. Holy cow.

I was so ready to be done by the end of the day yesterday that as soon as all of the decor was loaded into the car, we took it across the street to Grandmas, unloaded it, and took off. I was so not going to stick around to be a part of the gang all there in that house. It is going to take a long time for me to get back down there. I will be sure to keep in touch with Grandma and make sure I text her here and there to check in but I am sure not going to risk running into any one of them.

I know your call to Grandma yesterday made her whole day. I loved watching her face light up when she saw that it was you! What a great surprise. I am sure glad President Proudfoot was good with you calling. And trust me, you sure didn't miss out on anything by not being here. In fact, it probably would have been great if we could have traded places. You could be here dealing with all the bs and I could be in Africa doing something else. :)

It is Spring Break this next week so no school for us. I am stoked and I know B is too! We were going to go to Lake Havasu but it is COLD so we have opted to stay home and go to the cabin for a few days with the Millers. We will let the kids snowmobile, go sledding, we will take them to the crater to swim in Midway, and then hang out. Cheaper but also it gives B a chance to hang with other friends too at the end of the week. We have officially surpassed all snow records ever around here. Well over 700" and counting. We have until the end of April is when the normal cut off is so who knows what that final number will be. Just when we think we finally are done here in the valley, it snows again and not just a little. The cabin has so much snow that when the dogs are on the grass in the backyard they are literally higher than the hot tub cover. I wonder if we will ever see grass there! I have never been worried about flooding in my life but this year I definitely could worry about flooding not just at the cabin but here at home too. There is a ton of water out there that has to go somewhere when this snow melts!

I am looking forward to putting March behind us. I don't know, just not a month I want to do again or anymore this year. I am ready for some sort of Spring weather to come to break up this blah feel that is all over around here. I am ready for some sunshine and some of the happy that it brings to you know? I am ready for one more month to be checked off of time without all of my kids on American soil! :) Baseball starts this week too...nothing better than that during this time of year! If I can't have Springtime, well, at least I can watch some ball.

I love you. I am sorry I wasn't there to hug you when you  had to find out the news of this last week. I do know that you are right where you need to be and should be. I know that Gary would have wanted nothing different too. And really in the end, you didn't have to deal with any of this crap that took place. Lucky you! I hope you know that we love you and that we have you in our thoughts and prayers always. I hope you know that you have your greatest cheerleaders in us here too. I am so proud of you and all you are doing. Keep working hard and we will talk again soon. I love you for forever and for always.

Mom